Be honest. When the words “Michael Irvin” and “reality show” turned up in the same sentence, you glanced at the listings to find out when the next episode of “Court TV” was on. Well, it’s nothing like that.
Instead, the former Dallas Cowboys star, current radio show host and tireless self-promoter has decided to add talent scout to his lengthening resume. Irvin will play host as a dozen “football neophytes” – guys whose dreams of playing in the NFL ran into one obstacle or another – vie for a guaranteed spot on the Dallas Cowboys’ 80-man training camp roster.
This is funny on so many levels, it’s hard to know where to begin.
In just about every NFL organization, the owner or general manager – or both – wouldn’t think of wasting a roster spot on a shameless publicity stunt, considering what teams spend on scouting. But not in Dallas, apparently, where Jones holds both titles and probably blessed the project after a brief discussion in front of a mirror.
rter Jaime Aron.
“Not easy in the sense of what they’re allowing, what they’re giving us to give somebody. But easy because Jerry understands what it is to own America’s Team. … He was good with it. He said, `I think this is what we are about, this is America’s Team.”’
Then there’s the matter of Irvin as the show’s host or “overlord” as he described it. Though he was an exceptionally hard worker himself, it’s hard to imagine Irvin telling the winner what to expect during training camp, since some of his best stories are rumored to be under seal in court documents.
But since plenty of the details have yet to be ironed out – including a title – let’s leave that worry for the final episode. First, a look at the qualifications.
Size will matter, and so will playing shape, since the winner is expected to take part in contact drills as well as the conditioning program. The better the back story, the more gruesome the injury that cut short a career, the more Irvin wants to talk to you. Never mind that NFL scouts are fanned out around the globe at this moment, hunting for those same diamonds in the rough. Irvin knows where to look.
“I grew up with guys who are much more talented than I was. I remember seeing guys who at 12 or 15,” he said with a straight face, “could’ve left the neighborhood and gone straight to the NFL.”
Laugh if you want, but nobody in America might be better suited to hand out second chances. Irvin was the 15th of 17 kids, so he learned early how important it was to get back up after being knocked down.
After winning a national championship at Miami and all three Super Bowls he played in with the Cowboys, Irvin’s career ended after he was driven into the unyielding turf at the old Veterans Stadium in 1999. Philadelphia Eagles fans booed as he was carted off the field on a stretcher with a serious spinal cord injury that forced him into early retirement.
Still irrepressible and more bombastic than ever, Irvin segued into broadcasting and carved out a second career. Some of the same knuckleheaded run-ins with the law that plagued his playing days may have shortened his tenure as an NFL analyst, but Irvin always managed to land on his feet.
Those troubles were also the reason his name languished on the Hall of Fame ballot for three years, but Irvin’s induction speech – he begged his wife and others he had wronged for forgiveness – was one of the most heartfelt in memory. He thinks there’s a lesson somewhere in his own journey that will translate well into a reality show.
“We need hope. … Seeing somebody come out of nowhere on ‘American Idol’ and win, come out of nowhere and lose the type of weight they lose on ‘The Biggest Loser,’ to come out of nowhere and have the opportunity to walk into an NFL camp,” Irvin said, “that gives people hope.”
What it gives the Cowboys, of course, is even more publicity, which might be the last thing they need. The team hasn’t won a playoff game since 1996 – the longest championship drought in franchise history – and it’s saddled with a big-as-all-Texas payroll freighted with malcontents and reclamation projects.
In terms of priorities, you’d think the owner would be worried about how to get his three biggest stars in the same room without security and teaching his coach not to be afraid of his own shadow. But no. With a new stadium coming online and seats to sell, Jones opted to open another ring in the circus.
And circus it will be once Irvin turns up in one of his outrageous outfits, relying on good pals like Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith and Deion Sanders to spice up the drama. Imagine what will happen if Adam “Pacman” Jones, who was a guest on Irvin’s show not long after the Cowboys said good riddance, becomes a contestant and ends up winning. Tune in and find out.
“If you grab any other team,” Irvin said with a rare dose of understatement, “it doesn’t work quite like this will.”
No it doesn’t.
—
Press. Write to him at jlitkeap.org
Add A Comment