Indiana quarterback Kellen Lewis is so good he's catching his own touchdowns passes.
Sort of.
Lewis is fourth in the Big Ten in pass efficiency, 10th in rushing and already has two Big Ten player of the week awards this year. But he may never have a more unusual line than the one he had in a 38-20 win at Iowa last weekend.
After completing an 8-yard pass to Josiah Sears with 8:34 left in the first half, Sears lost the ball and Lewis scooped it up and ran 71 yards for a touchdown.
The official scoring summary reads: Lewis, 71-yard pass from Lewis.
He also finished the game with the second-most yardage of any Indiana receiver despite not getting credit for a catch. Yes, officially, that's zero receptions for 71 yards.
How does that happen?
According to the NCAA Statisticians' Manual, if the ball crosses the line of scrimmage is fumbled and then advanced by a teammate, whomever recovers the ball is given the yardage from the spot of the recovery. But the play goes down as it originated - in this case a pass. Because Sears was credited with a reception, Lewis could not be given a reception.
The oddity is so rare the NCAA doesn't even keep stats on how often it's been used, spokeswoman Crissy Schluep said.
The zany play has also given Lewis an unusual triple. Through five games, Lewis now has three touchdowns rushing, 14 passing and one receiving - catching it from himself.
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UNHAPPY VALLEY: Two weeks ago most of the experts believed that Penn State was the team to beat in the Big Ten.
Asked where Penn State's second straight defeat, a 27-20 loss to Illinois, left his team, coach Joe Paterno was brutally honest: ``I don't have the slightest idea. I'm going to have to go back and look at the tapes, spend some time with the players and staff and go from there.''
Here are JoePa's boys' next few games: Iowa and Wisconsin at home, at Indiana, Ohio State and Purdue on the road. Gulp.
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DESPERATE HAWKS: Three years removed from its second Big Ten title under coach Kirk Ferentz, Iowa has lost seven straight in conference play. The Hawkeyes (2-3) are poised for a second consecutive losing season if they can't turn things around in a hurry, like this weekend at Penn State.
``One thing about this team, it's had a great attitude to date,'' Ferentz said. ``I don't anticipate that changing. We're just going to keep working hard and do what we can do. We'd be very happy to win the game this week. But it's going to take a lot of work.''
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TRUE SPARTANS: Michigan State has used two offensive players, Kellen Davis and T.J. Williams, to provide defensive depth this season. So far, it has helped the Spartans to a 4-1 record.
Davis has caught three TD passes as a TE and made two sacks as a DL. Williams, who started the season as a WR, likely will start in the banged-up secondary this week against Northwestern. He had an interception last week against Wisconsin.
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ILLINI HIGH: Arrelious Benn's 90-yard kickoff return touchdown against the Nittany Lions was Illinois' first in three seasons, and gave opposing coaches something else to worry about.
The freshman WR out of Washington, D.C., is the Illini's leading receiver with 24 catches for 286 yards and a touchdown. Benn has also carried the ball 19 times for 91 yards.
``He's so big and strong,'' coach Ron Zook said. ``His legs look like a linebacker's almost. I felt pretty good when I saw him breaking away that nobody was going to catch him.''
Benn ran the return straight up the middle of the field and was never touched after he crossed the 50-yard line.
``The kickoff return team executed the blocks, and I just finished it,'' he said.
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NO MORE STANDUP: Wisconsin coach Bret Bielema said he's quitting comedy.
Bielema joked after Saturday's victory against Michigan State that starting CB Jack Ikegwuonu, who missed all but a few plays, was sick.
``In grade school, mom gave you a note that cleared you for the day, but there are no notes on college football Saturday,'' Bielema said.
A few thought Bielema was trying to send a statement to the cornerback through the media after he said last season that RB P.J. Hill needed to take ``toughen-up pills.''
``I'm going to stop trying to be funny,'' Bielema said this week. ``Jack was sick. Jack ... lost seven pounds, had dehydration issues, had a migraine headache.''
Bielema, who also joked after the game that he had forgotten his socks, said Ikegwuonu called him the next day over the perceived critical comments.
``I try to be funny,'' Bielema told reporters. ``I threw out the socks. I thought that was a great comment, but that didn't get any play either so I give up.''
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QUICK RECOVERY: Purdue RB Jaycen Taylor is practicing two weeks after he was supposedly lost for the season with a broken left arm.
Coach Joe Tiller said Taylor could return in two weeks, in time for the home game against Iowa.
``He's chomping at the bit,'' Tiller said. ``If it was up to Jaycen, it would have been two weeks, but it's not up to him.''
Taylor signed autographs outside of one of the Ross-Ade Stadium entrances, smiling and joking with fans before last Saturday's 33-19 win over Notre Dame.
His starting job might not be there when he returns. Kory Sheets has run for at least 110 yards and a TD in every game since Taylor was hurt.
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QUICK-HITTERS: This week's slate includes No. 5 Wisconsin at Illinois, Minnesota at Indiana, Northwestern at Michigan State, No. 4 Ohio State at Purdue and Eastern Michigan at Michigan. ... The players of the week were Indiana's Lewis and Wisconsin TB P.J. Hill on offense, Michigan LB Shawn Crable on defense and Benn on special teams. ... Ohio State has won 16 in a row in conference play, three behind Michigan's mark (1990-92). ... Wisconsin's 14-game winning streak is longest in the Football Bowl Subdivision.

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