Check that. Major League Baseball thinks we're stupid.
So much hullabaloo has been made over whether or not Jason Giambi will meet with the Mitchell people about his steroid use.
Will he or won't he? If he meets with them, what will he say? Whom will he implicate? If he doesn't meet with them, will he be suspended? Will they remove the muscles directly from his body with a knife?
Man, this is going to turn out to be nothing, the way everything about baseball's steroid investigation is going to turn out to be nothing, the way we're made to sit in front of our TVs and watch swollen-headed monstrosities named Bonds and Sosa crash through records they'd never have gotten without testicle-shrinking, acne-inducing shots to their fat asses. Baseball is run by people who don't respect their fans, because anyone who respected us wouldn't do this to us and then kick us out of bed in the morning.
Here's how the Giambi thing will go down. He'll say, "Okay, I'll come talk to you." But he won't mention any names of any other players who did 'roids. He'll be conveniently fuzzy on when he took 'roids himself, so no one will be able to say he did 'em while he was a Yankee, so the Yanks won't be able to void his mammoth contract. He'll essentially cop to having done what we know most of the major sluggers of the late 1990s did, but without any ramifications. No one else will be implicated. Bud Selig will be able to wave coquettishly toward Congress and say, "See, we're soooo serious about getting to the bottom of this. Now about not revoking that anti-trust exemption...."
Yawn. I'd rather watch Lost reruns. At least you know Kate ain't juiced....
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