2013 PGA Predictions
2013 PGA Predictions
2013 PGA Predictions
By Dan Daly
Before we get to the 2013 PGA Tour preview; a couple of quick thoughts from the AT&T.
Brandt Snedeker went to Pebble Beach and remained not only the hottest golfer on the planet but continues to edge out Rory for the coolest mop on Tour. Pretty fascinating stat I stole from Twitter; Sneds has played against 441 players in the last three weeks and beaten 438 of them (he tied some guy you’ve never heard of at Torrey) going 2nd, 2nd, 1st. Losing only to Tiger and FIGJAM (aka Mickelson) the last two weeks.
Speaking of FIG, this was hands down the highlight of the week at Pebble. The Lefty Flop
I would like to write a personal thank you note to whomever officially uninvited George Lopez to the event this year. The Monterey Peninsula Foundation said it wanted to “rotate celebrities in and out and get in some fresh faces for the fans.” However you have to spin guys; as long as the end result is no George Lopez. Any chance we can “rotate” Ray Romano next year as well?
The 2013 PGA Tour season may have officially started back in January but let’s be honest, was anyone really paying attention until football season was over? I didn’t think so. So as far as I’m concerned the 2013 season officially kicked off over the weekend in Pebble. I guess Tiger did make some headlines during the bye week of the Super Bowl though so we will call that a good preseason win by him. Anyway, without further ado, here are my 18 guaranteed predictions for the official 2013 PGA Tour season.
18. Rickie Fowler will continue to be the most overrated player on tour and dress like a clown, because, well, that’s what Rickie Fowler does.
17. Jim Furyk will blow at least one golf tournament this year. Actually…make that two. With zero wins.
16. On the 40 year anniversary of his final round 63 in 1973, NBC will finally convince Johnny Miller to reluctantly break his silence and address that round during his coverage of this year’s US Open. And with the tournament being at Merion, Johnny can once again bring up his hero Ben Hogan. I don’t know, maybe something along the lines of, "Ben Hogan must be turning over in his grave right now."
15. FIGJAM will get “randomly” audited by the IRS at some point in 2013. Terrible break about that whole 59 thing in Phoenix…just heart breaking.
14. The United States will win the President’s Cup at Muirfield Village GC because DLIII will not be allowed within 100 miles of Ohio the first week in October.
13. In honor of his win at Torrey Pines, Tiger will seek out and have sex with a stripper named Torrey Pine.
12. Jason Dufner will go through 426 cans of snuff during his roughly 72 official rounds on tour this year. He will also smile at least once. I have no idea when, where or why, but it will happen…I love that guy.
11. BVP (Bo Van Pelt) will get his long overdue second win on the PGA tour at the AT&T National.
10. Bubba Watson will cry three times on camera this year. Once for a win, once when he realizes he’s friends with Rickie Fowler and once when he re-watch’s the next ‘Golf Boys’ video.
9. By the end of the 2013 season the average round on the PGA Tour will take approximately 9 hours and 37 minutes.
8. This will continue to be the best golf commercial of the year. Mark Steffenhagen’s for everybody!
7. Vijay Singh will win the John Deere…sorry, that one was too easy.
6. Lee Westwood will finally break through and get his first career major at Muirfield in East Lothian, taking home the British Open.
5. Rory will regret switching from Titleist to Nike, in fact, he will be so mad at himself for it that he will burn $100 bills to make himself feel better…just because he can. However, he will get it straightened out by late summer just in time to repeat as PGA Champion at Oak Hill CC.
4. Sneds will continue his run as both the hottest golfer on tour and most “fratastic” member on tour with the two culminating in the deep south for his first ever Major at Augusta, winning the 2013 Masters. As a result, Polo, Vineyard Vines, Southern Proper, Sperry topsiders, New Balance, North Face, Mountain Hardware, Costa Del Mar w/ croakies and Ray Ban wayfarers will all honor him on Monday.
3. Tiger will end the season with five wins, four lawsuits, three STD’s, two stripper girlfriends and one Major…the US Open at Merion.
2. Dustin Johnson may not win any more tournaments this year, but he will most definitely win the award for hottest girlfriend on tour. If you're unfamiliar with the eldest daughter of Wayne and Janet Gretzky, she's a 24-year-old Instagram star, model, blog staple and Laguna Beach songstress. Do yourself a favor and click here.
1. John Patrick Daly will win an official PGA Tour event in 2013.